THE VALUE OF LOSING THINGS
I’m assuming you lose things…and it pisses you off. You get scared. Maybe you feel guilty……or stupid. Maybe you want to blame somebody else, but you know it’s your own damn fault. Perhaps these phrases come to mind, “I just had it?” “Where did I leave that?” or even, “It’s those damn thieving gremlins taking my stuff again and hide them from me …….out of spite………”
Or maybe you’re like my wife, Rochelle who is famous for exclaiming, “I’ve lived with this man for over 43 years and not a day goes by without him saying some version of, “Rochelle, where is my….(fill in the blank)?” And BTW,” she continues, “he’s getting worse with age.”
I can’t argue with her. I must spend at least 10% of my day looking for stuff. And what makes it even worse? I keep looking for the misplaced thing long after I’ve found it–sometimes weeks later, and dI have to remind myself to relax. (“You sure?”) That alone takes off another 2% of my day.
Well, I’ve gotten to the point that I forget that I remembered that I found it and so I have to look for the memory. Oi!
Yeah, this is nuts.
Well, I’ve got good news for you. There are at least two benefits from losing things.
The first is obvious and you no doubt have discovered it—how good you feel when you find it. As a matter of fact, you may feel so good in finding it that you almost wish you could lose it again, so you can experience the high in finding it.
(I’m currently looking forward to that moment as I lost my cherished silver bracelet a couple of weeks ago and was so happy to have found it. Well, guess what…right….I lost it again…And while it causes me and my wife (who compulsively gets caught up in the looking—value of marrying a co-dependent) stress, annoyance and aggravation, there is this anticipation of the endorphin rush when it is found. (which we hope is soon. And if you want to know where it is, send me an email and we’ll tell you. Maybe you can even share in the jubilation.)
BTW. Rochelle has vowed to not get caught up in looking for my things (since it is not just a daily activity, but often happen several times a day), but like me, who has also made a vow— to remember where I put things–we are failing.
But wait! Here’s the second great benefit of losing things , and you can reap this reward whether you find your thing or not. When you start poking about and looking for the missing item, you find other things that you didn’t know you lost and maybe didn’t even know you had and didn’t realize how much you valued. The delight in finding them is just as good an endorphin rush. You might find yourself exclaiming:
“I wondered where I put that.” “Oh, my God…there’s the…….” “Man, can I use that.” “I’m so glad I didn’t throw that away.” “OMG, I really bought that!” Or even, “Gees, that really stinks. better get rid of it before my partner smells it.” or “I’m glad I lost the silver bracelet. I wouldn’t have found my sandal for my right foot, and boy, did I miss that.”
You see, I’ve just listed several possible scenarios that will produce a “finding things orgasm.” And get this, the more things you lose things, the more poking about, the more surprise discoveries!
And if you really get lucky, you will even find some precious bobble that you’ve long given up hope of ever retrieving. And when that happens…..well….remember the scene at the restaurant in When Harry Meets Sally, when Sally was pretending to have an orgasm you might be just like the woman sitting at the next table, when the waiter asks you, “What do you want?” and you find yourself blurting out ………………“I want what she’s finding!”