THE LOSING OF THINGS
Since I last shared with you, I have discovered more possibilities involved in looking for things.
For one thing, I realized when I lose A thing, if I can wait till I lose another thing before I start to look for the first lost thing, I can use the same amount of time for looking for two things that I would have inevitably used to find just the one thing.
See, what a time saver that is? By looking for them both using the same amount of time, it will be so much more efficient. I’ll be looking in the same exact places where I always look–the places where it usually never is, of course, but I will have saved time because I will have been looking for two things in those place at the same time.
So while the time not finding the first thing I lost may feel like it’s been wasted, I won’t feel I’ve wasted time looking for the second object because I won’t really have spent any time looking for it. Get it?
It’s like a twofer. And, if I find one of the two things I’ve lost, the rush I feel in finding that one thing will mitigate the disappointment and frustration I would feel if I were looking for only the other thing and couldn’t find that. See how that works?
I’ve even considered losing several things before I start to look for them to save even more time looking for the things. But I’m afraid if I lose more than 4 things, I will forget some of the things I’m looking for. That would be really unnerving, because while I’m looking for the 3 things I know I’ve lost that I can remember, there will always be this uneasiness that there’s something else I may have lost but which I can’t remember, but since I can’t remember what it was while I’m looking, I may be overlooking it altogether. In which case the time spent looking for the 4th thing which I thought I was getting in as an extra looking–for the same amount of time I spent looking for the other 3 things, really won’t count, so I will have only saved two times of looking for the things and not 3 same amounts of time that I was planning on saving. So why should I bother waiting to lose over 3 things? I can start looking for three lost things and that will save me the time I would have not spent the fourth time looking for the last thing. See the logic?
But as I mentioned in my last blog. I can always hope that the thing that I can’t remember that I lost might be one of the things that I inadvertently find while I’m looking for the other lost things.
Here’s another thing about it. I lose the same things all the time: my watch, my glasses, my bracelet, my dolly, my blanky, my tape recorder, and certain articles of clothing. Since I lose the same things all of the time, you’d think I’d know where to find them.
I even bought one of those gadgets where you attach a beeper to your things and when you lose any of them, you just press the remote on the master finder gismo, and your lost and precious item will beep to let you know where it is.
But what if you lose the finder remote gizmo, which I did several times. It’s as lose-able as any of the other things that I normally lose…even more so, since I have to carry it around pressing buttons while listening for the thing I’m looking for to beep. And when I find that thing, I will most likely put down the master finder gizmo thing and use the heretofore lost thing that I just found for whatever the fuck I was looking to use it for in the first place–assuming that it’s even still relevant or that I can remember what it was.
And, of course, the finder remote gizmo thingy runs on batteries which run out right when you’re looking for one of the things you really need it for right then–like your car keys when you’re already late to the function that your wife has already told you, “We CANNOT be late for this function!”
Then I’m really fucked because I have to first “find” the batteries, and since I tend to forget to throw old batteries away, (somehow I never seem to lose old batteries), I have to test the batteries that I find to make sure they work.
By that time, I cannot find the master-finder gizmo thiing, because I set it down somewhere when I went to look for the batteries and then forgot where I put it.
Now, I have to find the gizmo so I can replace the batteries…but while this is happening my memory is shrinking exponentially–in other words, every minute I’m not focused on finding the things that I’ve lost… the thought of those things is receding from my awareness, as I said, exponentially–let alone the thought of what I wanted to do with the things in the first place.
So let’s say 10 minutes goes by. That will mean when I finally find the good batteries, I may not remember what I wanted to use them for. And on top of that, yet another opportunity to get rid of spent batteries will have come and gone, and I’m right back where I started.
“Rochelle, Rochelle,” I yell upstairs, “Have you seen the little battery tester?”